Question by : Any one here please help me with the grammar in this essay. Thanks in advance.?
Moving in America
It is Saturday, a family day. Waking up by the morning light with the thick coffee aroma filling into the room, I yawned but still laying down because of my laziness. I could feel the tender, warm sun wrapping around me: then, I stood up nearly tumbling from the lost of balance and went down the stairs. There I saw my husband drinking coffee, and reading the newspaper at the same time. My son, Yon, was as usual watching T.V while eating his cookies. To get some fresh air, I stepped outside.
It was summer time in my country. I felt like a boiling egg in the sun; even though, my hair was extremely burn when I touched it. I flopped into my chair with a cold cup of lemonade, but I still couldn’t handle the hot air. So, I wanted to go to my room, when I was in the middle of the stairs way, I saw my husband was talking on the phone. I didn’t want to interrupt him but as I heard the words, “America, moving, and working there”, so I noticed. Shockingly, I looked at him and waited until he finished talking. When he had done, I began to ask him a lot of questions “Are we moving? How about our business? What about your work?” I asked so many questions, and my husband explained them to me carefully. However, I still didn’t want to leave my country. Ever since, it was his dream to come and live in America. He said that there is a lot of opportunity living in the land of freedom. Thinking about moving just made me burst into tears. I began to call my parents and my husband’s relatives to let them know we had a decision to leave our own country.
The day came was time to say goodbye! My heart began to ache and I started to cry. On December 19, 2008 five days before Christmas the day we left our country; while we were sitting on the airplane from China bound to Greensboro, I was thinking about my family, my friends, and our future. I thought, “Why do we need to go to America? Everything here is fine. I know my mother is worried about me. Suddenly, I heard my husband talking to me. He said “don’t think too much, everything was going to be alright.” We will have a bright future in America.” My chest felt stuffed and my eyes were about to become watery but I keep my tears in because I don’t want to disappoint my husband. When the airplane arrived in Detroit International airport, we walk firmly, and we go to our next flight. When arrived there we received news that all flights are cancelled; we stranded there due to the inclement weather. So, we need to spend our night in Detroit airport. In fourteen hours of journey I felt so exhausted, tired and sleepy. The next morning we arrived at the Greensboro airport my husband new employer and his associates patiently waiting for us to come out on the waiting area. They help us to pick up our luggage. They started introducing each other’s and after that we went to a restaurant to get something to eat. We stayed at my aunt`s house for almost a month they guided us how to adjust to live in this country.
After a month we found an apartment (house) to stay. At first, it was really hard. We always stayed at home and went outside occasionally. If we needed to go somewhere, we depended on my aunt for help. A few months later, my husband learned how to drive and got his driver’s license. We can go anywhere we like without disturbing other people. I had a great time with my husband and son I feel like I am really free. This is a beautiful country. Everything here is different, different language, different food, and different people. Everything is new to me .I was like a newborn baby, and many things I didn’t know, and I had to learn everything again. Then, it was the time for my son to go kindergarten. I enrolled him to the public school in Carolina. I don`t know what to do; they asked me “how long you been here” Can you speak English? Everybody asked me. Even though I studied English in my country, I couldn’t speak at all. I felt like my tongue got numb inside and my body started to shake. I felt so bad that day and very disappointed to myself. Every time I go somewhere I needed my husband with me. I couldn`t speak to anybody. I was like a baby. I lost my confidence. And I began to hate everything here, I hated the people, I hated myself, I hated that my husband brought me here to America. I miss my home, family and friends. I miss everything in my country. And things began worsen. My husband company filled a bankruptcy. I felt like I’m going crazy. Until his company found another job for him here in Carolina and thanks God were settled again.
Best answer:
Answer by Mati
Moving to America
It is Saturday, a family day. As I woke up in the morning light with a thick coffee aroma filling into the room, I yawned but didn’t get up because of my laziness. I could feel the tender, warm sun wrapping around me: then, I stood up nearly tumbling from lack of balance and went down the stairs. There I saw my husband drinking coffee while reading the newspaper. My son, Yon, was watching T.V as usual while eating his cookies. To get some fresh air, I stepped outside.
It was summer time in my country. I felt like a boiling egg in the sun and my hair was extremely burnt when I touched it. I flopped into my chair with a cold cup of lemonade, but I still couldn’t stand the hot air. I decided to go to my room, and when I was on the middle of the stairs, I saw that my husband was talking on the phone. I didn’t want to interrupt him but I heard the words, “America, moving, and working there”, so I noticed. Shocked, I looked at him and waited until he finished talking. When he was done, I began to ask him a lot of questions “Are we moving? How about our business? What about your work?” I asked so many questions, and my husband explained the answers to me carefully. However, I still didn’t want to leave my country. It had always his dream to come and live in America. He said that there is a lot of opportunity living in the land of freedom. Thinking about moving just made me burst into tears. I began to call my parents and my husband’s relatives to let them know we had decided to leave our own country.
ok, I’ve done it until here, sorry, don’t have time to do the rest now… got to do some homework….
I changed some phrases which didn’t make sense, and some common grammar mistakes, but apart from that it’s pretty good. I understand how you feel, not wanting to leave your home. It is an opportunity, but your husband has to understand how hard it is for you, going to a whole you country with a completely different culture. All I can say is be strong, and communicate. Tell your family what you feel like inside. Moving should make you closer as a family instead of making you grow further apart! You need each other, because it won’t be easy. But once you get settled in, it’ll become another home to you.
Take care, good luck:)
…and never give up…
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